I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
