Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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