I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
