Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
