We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
