Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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