I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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