he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
