ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
