he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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