Duck Duck Cougar?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize