Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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