You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
