Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
