Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
