I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
