A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
