I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
