I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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