you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I DEMAND FORESKIN
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
