She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
