My sheets look like a crime scene.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
