would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Holy shit dude........stairs
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
