I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
His hands were made for my vagina.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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