If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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