I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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