If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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