you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
