I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
