A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize