sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
