She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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