i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
