3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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