Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
