Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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