There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
