But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize
