the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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