Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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