he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
