I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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