Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
