I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
