he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
barbara walters just said penis...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
