Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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