Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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