Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
