i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
