I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
