I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
id be glad to
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
