i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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