Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
