Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
