absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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