I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
