u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
