I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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