nut hugger
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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