so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
