that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
