My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
